An Epiphany

I have a short fuse, and most people know this. I go from 0 to pissed off in about .02 seconds. This is not healthy for me or Drake or my friends or my family, and so on. I worry about stuff that I don't really need to worry about and have such an over-active imagination that I read too far into peoples words or actions and I need to stop or it is going to start pushing people away.

I came to this realization today at work, which is surprising because we all know how much I loooove Office Depot. This older gentleman had brought in a three-ring binder of pictures and things of he and his wife and their last years together, which he wanted copied and bound for his children. On their 50th wedding anniversary in 2001 they had made a memory book of their first 50 years together. Not long after, his wife was diagnosed with cancer and everything about their lives changed. He thought it would be a great idea though to continue on with the memory book, because these years were especially important now, more than ever. For nearly four years he and his wife survived many emotional battles, ranging from her chemo, to a terrible fall that caused her to break both her wrists, and so on. Yet this woman never complained to others. There were many comments throughout the book about how this woman never once said, "Why me?" She was always concerned with how her husband, children, and grandchildren were dealing with her illness. It is so amazing that someone could be so selfless and so courageous, even knowing that her time was coming to an end much more quickly than it should have. This wonderful woman passed away after almost four years battling this disease, three days before her 80th birthday. As I was looking through the book, I actually had tears in my eyes reading about her and her family. It made me want to be a better person.

I kind of started to come to this conclusion on Friday when I saw Adam and everyone. We all had such a good time and everyone had fun hanging out and drinking, just like old times. Regardless of how we feel about Ashley, Adam is our friend and we love him, so no one made a big deal out of it and no one said anything that might mar our time. Adam isn't going to be home for long, so we might as well make some good memories while he can. As long as he is happy with Ashley, then we have to accept it and be happy for him because he is our friend. I even talked to her very very briefly - I didn't go out of my way to strike up a conversation or anything, because I wanted the evening to be a good one, but I was getting my purse from the counter and she was standing near by and she asked how I was doing and everything. It didn't go much beyond there but it didn't need to. We were all making effort for Adam and will do so as long as he is happy.

Brett and Drake tell me I worry all the time for nothing and it is true. I too often let the little stupid unimportant details clutter the big picture and I am not going to do it anymore. I have nothing to complain about, I have a great life, an amazing and awesome boyfriend who I love, the best friends anyone could ever ask for, and a family that I would not trade for the world. I am not going to waste time worrying about things or people I can not change because everything happens for a reason and that's just how it is supposed to be. I am not saying I am just going to sit back and let stuff happen, I am just going to be more accepting of things that do happen that I know I can't change no matter how much I try.

On a lighter note, my bracket got a tad messed up when Illinois lost. I had them playing Duke for the national championship. My Final Four picks were: Duke, Gonzaga, Villanova and Illinois. Ugh. But still, this is the best time of year, I love March!